Terms Of Service

*I have been advised by lawyer that all of the following is actually illegal

At any point during your viewing of my store front, extending into the foreseeable future, which will either be the ultimate expansion or contraction of the known universe, you will henceforth join my army of the living undead. Legally, this requires that you be living, and not dead. 

See, like these guys are clearly dead. I know they're called undead, but like, that's some pretty serious head trauma. I just mean "not dead". It's all symantics. 

I have no idea why my lawyer is so stuck on all this.